About these ads

Foreign Policy: It’s Come To This

CHENEY-MISSME

About these ads

Sissy Spacek Accepts the Pig’s Blood Challenge

carrie-sissy-sp

BvlEPDzCcAARaGN


Justin Halpern: If Porno Scripts Had To Go Through Network Notes

tumblr_inline_nc09eipewA1qh5cb9

This is savage, I’m surprised no one’s done this before. A short, funny, inside-show-business item from author, comedy writer, blogger Justin Halpern:

I’ve written about network notes on this blog before, specifically that I don’t find them to be as evil as they are made out to be. But what I have noticed, having gone through the development process a few times now, is that most of the notes you get on a pilot are about exposition and a crazy amount of detail that almost no one will notice.  And while I agree that it’s important for the audience to understand who your characters are and why they’re doing what they’re doing, I feel as though audiences these days are really intelligent, and you don’t need to spoon feed them.  You just have to make sure you get to compelling stuff as quickly as possible.  It’s sort of like the structure of porn. Read the rest of this entry »


Election Results In: Batman Wins

Vote Batman


GRAFFITI OF THE DAY: Be a Non Conformist!

anarchy-grafitti


She’s Back: Truther O’Donnell Returns

rosie-odonnel-truther-returns-variety-parody


Ongoing Anti-Terror Non-War Plan Unveiled

operation-cluster


[PHOTO] Vintage: What if a Clown Nun had Invented Video Conferencing?

clown-nun


New Apple Watch Allows Wearers to Start and Stop the Flow of Time

apple watch humor

Tim Cook announced Tuesday the release of Apple’s long-rumored watch, the latest in wearable technology. 

Here are some features of the new device:

  • 13-megapixel camera enables users to take crystal-clear pictures of wrist
  • Allows wearers to start and stop the flow of time
  • Discreet, but not so discreet that anyone would mistake it for a regular watch
  • Comes in a variety of colors and styles to express your personal submission to the planet’s dominant tech company
  • Adjustable ticking volume
  • All the convenience of a traditional watch that needs to be charged every 12 hours
  • Built-in thinkpiece regarding the increased connectivity yet simultaneous isolation of the millennial generation
  • Small size and intricate circuitry able to drive twice as many Chinese workers to suicide as iPhone
  • Makes it easier for muggers to see whether or not you’re carrying an expensive electronic device
  • Another screen to throw into your current rotation of things you look at

Read the rest of this entry »


WaPo Headline, Late Final

O-pardon


NFL Announces New Zero-Tolerance Policy On Videotaped Domestic Violence

700

NEW YORK—Following public outcry over his mishandling of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice’s aggravated assault of his then-fiancée, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday that the league has adopted a new zero-tolerance policy toward all videotaped domestic abuse. “We hold our players to the highest standards both as professional athletes and as people, so any violence toward women that is recorded, authenticated, and then publicly distributed will be met with an automatic suspension and fine,” said Goodell, adding that the new, stricter guidelines reflect the league’s hard-line stance against any spousal abuse that is clearly and irrefutably captured on film. “I can assure you that any member of this league who strikes a woman in front of a live camera will face swift and heavy consequences. Read the rest of this entry »


Corrupt New Orleans Ex-Mayor Ray Nagin Reports to Prison, Pre-Sold to Leo ‘Big Daddy’ Jackson for a Carton of Lucky Strikes

lucky

“Normally a new inmate would go for four, five cartons of cigarettes, more if he’s a celebrity. Nagin may be famous, but he’s a boring little bitch, he talks too much, and he has a bony ass.”

– Whitey Fitzgerald, inmate, former hedge fun manager

FCI Texarkana, low-security Federal Correctional Institution

FCI Texarkana, low-security Federal Correctional Institution

Nagin, a Democrat who left office in 2010, was convicted on 20 counts ranging from bribery and fraud to tax evasion. He reported to a federal prison in Texas on Monday.

“Competition for high-profile inmates is usually robust, with former elected officials being among the most desirable among bidders.”

– FCI prison guard

New Orleans Nagin_AP_660

Pre-checkin bidding for the former New Orleans Mayor was less active than anticipated, according to prison guards. “Competition for high-profile inmates is usually robust, with former elected officials being among the most desirablebigdaddy among bidders.” No conclusive explanation was given for the lackluster interest in Nagin, though some speculate the overall prison economy might be a factor.

 “I don’t care what the press says about him. Or my fellow inmates. I’m glad I won the bid for Ray. I think he’s cute.”

– Leo “Big Daddy” Jackson

“Less than favorable institutional access to tobacco products make it harder for our inmate population to negotiate effectively”, said Mark McGriffin, a convicted embezzler and former Clinton Administration advisor. “And other tradable commodities like gum, and playing cards don’t have the same intrinsic value.”

Whitey Fitzgerald, a former hedge fun manager, disagreed. Read the rest of this entry »


D’Souzaism of the Day: ‘Progress’

Dinesh-DSouza-reflections-progressive


How Jennifer Lawrence’s Boobs Broke the Internet: Fake Links to Nude Celebs Overload New Zealand’s Telecommunications Network

jlaw-academy-awards

Malware trap Brings New Zealand’s Internet to its Knees

AFP – It is believed a handful of computer users clicked links on Friday evening believing they would take them to the illicit images, but instead they inadvertently installed malware triggering a crippling Internet attack.

“For obvious reasons, clicking on links to ‘naked celebrity’ photos, or opening email attachments would be a very bad idea right now, expect criminals to ride this bandwagon immediately.”

It took telecommunications giant Spark, the rebranded Telecom Corp., until Sunday to fully repair what it termed a “dynamic” cyber-attack that overloaded its system covering more than 600,000 customers.

dunst-icloud-mailuk

“Our scanning brought to our attention some freshly-concocted schemes targeting those looking for the photos borne from the aforementioned leak.”

[Also see - The CELEBRIGEDDON of 2014: Jennifer Lawrence Requests Nude Pics Investigation]

[More - Coconuts: Kirsten Dunst Leads Celeb Anger at Apple Over Stars' Nude iCloud Images Stolen]

[More - Social Media Goes Cuckoo Bananas Over Massive Celebrity Nude Photo Leak]

The intimate celebrity photos, which included actresses Jennifer Lawrence, Kirsten Dunst, and singers Avril Lavigne and Rihanna, were stolen from a cloud storage system.

Read the rest of this entry »


Code Name ‘Precious Little': Delaware Governor Jack Markell Accidentally Tweets Photo of Woman in Bondage Gear

1409859933306_wps_9_Jack_Markell_and_his_twee

Associated Press reports: Delaware governor Jack Markell was apologizing this afternoon after mistakenly tweeting a photograph of a woman in bondage gear.

His office tweeted the racy photo accidentally while publicizing a public education initiative.

The photo, showing a blonde woman wearing a black leather collar around her neck, was soon deleted and replaced with an apology. Read the rest of this entry »


Sacré Bleu! French Man Jailed for Texting and Calling his Ex-Girlfriend 21,807 Times

liberals-in-shock-590

 


EXCLUSIVE: Nearing Retirement, Harry Reid’s Unusual Behavior Fuels Increased Speculation about Recreational Drug Use

reid-hand

“When I move my hand…like this…pretty colors…”

(WASHINGTON D.C.) Rumors are swirling in both Democratic and Republican campaign headquarters about Senator Harry Reid‘s alleged use of psychoactive drugs, recreationally, including hallucinogens, though what kinds remain uncertain. In the last few months, in advance of Reid’s near-certain retirement as Senate majority leader, Reid’s mood appeared to be melancholy, say sources close to the Senator.LSD-vial

“His attacks on the Koch brothers seemed increasingly insincere, as though he were just going through the motions,” said a campaign staff worker, who spoke to punditfromanotherplanet on the condition of anonymity.

Others near the Senator concur. “Even while blocking bills from reaching the floor, helping to raise money for negative TV ad campaigns, engaging in partisan attacks against Republican opponents in public, and complaining about president Obama in private, his voice seemed hollow, his posture, defeated,” said a reporter who covers the Capitol.

In recent weeks, however, according to close observers, Reid’s demeanor has improved. “He smiles for no reason, sings quietly to himself, and carries on stream-of-consciousness monologues to anyone who will listen”, complained a staff member. Reid’s mood is elevated, some say, to the point of euphoria, which has caused concern among his closest supporters. Read the rest of this entry »


BREAKING: Escaped Albino Cobra Snake Sending Tweets from Undisclosed Location


Paperback Thriller: Obamacare

obamacare-horror


Dead Men Don’t Talk: Headline of the Day

headline-follies


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,325 other followers