Twitter’s 10 Funniest ‘Pickup Lines’ Inspired by the Government Shutdown

Jenny Erikson writes: So the government is shutting down because apparently nobody in DC can agree about money. Watching the Republicans and Democrats squabble is a bit like watching an old married couple bicker, isn’t it? They’re both set in their ways, each side thinking they’ve already given too much ground …

Too bad this affects all of us. Le sigh. So what’s a citizen to do when the politicians can’t get along? Crack jokes. Because when it’s the choice between laughing and crying, always choose to laugh. And thank goodness we have Twitter, so that funny people can share funny thoughts and keep us entertained while the panda cam is out.

Here are 10 of the best #ShutdownPickupLines:

  • “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I hope not because the GOP doesn’t want us to have healthcare.” @dangr
  • “Is that a rising debt limit, or are you just happy to see me?” @jladrae
  • “The library is closing, mind if I check you out instead?” @michot_y
  • “Do you not carry health insurance? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.” @Joshthomastn
  • “Hey girl, can I introduce you to my essential personnel?” @Geoff_Holtzman
  • “If I could rearrange the budget, I’d put you and me on the same line item.” @DeliaCabe
  • “Baby, you’ve chained up my heart tighter than the Lincoln Memorial.” @trace501
  • “We could do more than just strip legislation.” @marinakoren
  • “Even before the shutdown over Obamacare, my love for you was always a pre-existing condition.“ @juanlozano70
  • “The only thing nonessential about you are those pants.” @Jbean35

The Stir

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