BREAKING: Barbie Charged with First-Degree Murder in Brutal Slaying of Ken

Barbie Charged with First-Degree Murder in Brutal Slaying of Ken

(AP) America was shocked when news accounts first emerged outlining gruesome details of an unimaginable crime involving two iconic celebrity sweethearts, Barbie and Ken. When Ken’s headless body was discovered by Los Angeles Police, in Barbie’s Malibu apartment, a homicide investigation was launched, and only one suspect emerged.

Photographic evidence collected during the investigation, implicating Barbie in the crime, appeared on the internet, allegedly leaked by the District Attorney‘s office. In a shocking display of macabre cheerfulness, Barbie is depicted cleaning up after the murder, attempting to destroy DNA evidence. Barbie, America’s beloved icon, was arrested, and held without bail.

Grand Jury testimony revealed enough evidence to charge Barbie on four counts, aggravated assault, conspiracy, first degree murder, and obstruction of justice.

Los Angeles Law Enforcement Officials described the crime as “heinous”, and urged parents not to discuss the crime with children, at least until after the Christmas holiday. “It’s tragic”, said one investigator “We’ve been called to Barbie’s Malibu residence on a few minor domestic disputes, but there was nothing to suggest anything like this. She must have just snapped”.


5 Comments on “BREAKING: Barbie Charged with First-Degree Murder in Brutal Slaying of Ken”

  1. rmnixondeceased says:

    Reblogged this on Dead Citizen's Rights Society.

  2. Brittius says:

    Reblogged this on Brittius.com and commented:
    Hmmm…

  3. […] The Butcher (AP) America was shocked when news accounts first emerged outlining gruesome details of an […]

  4. This post made me laugh out loud! I know murder is no laughing matter, but this is surreal.

  5. The Butcher says:

    Reblogged this on pundit from another planet and commented:

    This was a gruesome news story. The doll community hasn’t been the same since seeing this shocking photo.


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