BREAKING: Sportscaster Bob Costas is a Zombie, Reports Confirm

Bob-Costas-Eyesjpg

“The evidence has been hard to ignore. To many Zombie experts, it’s no longer just a theory, our findings are now conclusive.”

NBC Sports host Bob Costas will sit out Tuesday’s primetime coverage on NBC, sticking to the cover story that he has “eye infections” in both eyes. Costas began to promote the “infection in his left eye”, disinformation campaign, now that it’s spread to his right eye, experts are increasingly confident that Bob Costas is, unfortunately, a confirmed Zombie.

“It’s only a matter of time before he’ll need to be captured and placed under permanent supervision…”

“The evidence has been hard to ignore. To many Zombie experts, it’s no longer just a theory, our findings are now conclusive.” Said Dr. Benjamin Hendricks, Director of the American Center for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies, in Baltimore, Maryland. “It’s only a matter of time before he’ll need to be captured and placed under permanent supervision…” Adding that no treatment is available for his condition,  Dr. Hendricks declined to go on the record about what final measures might need to be taken. “It doesn’t look good,” he said.

On Monday night’s primetime coverage of the Olympics, Costas was having problems resisting the temptation to attack fellow members of the press, use his hands and teeth to rip the flesh of nearby uninfected humans, and eat brains.

Today show host Matt Lauer–having demonstrated no symptoms of infectious exposure– will take Costas’ place.

As the AP notes, “Though zombie broadcasters aren’t uncommon in some news and sports divisions, no undead broadcaster has anchored a prime-time summer or winter Olympic broadcast in the U.S., and we will do our best to keep it that way, for everyone’s safety.”

Bob Costas’ irreversible Zombie symptom confirmed by experts



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.