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EXCLUSIVE: Transcript of Kerry’s Phone Call to Netanyahu Complaining About Insults

kerry-phone

Secretary of State John Kerry called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Wednesday morning to protest insults the Israeli defense minister directed at the Obama administration this week, the State Department said. —  thehill.com

Punditfromanotherplanet obtained an exclusive transcript of the phone conversation between Secretary of State John Kerry and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The following is a declassified portion of a recording of their communication from Wednesday, March 19th, 2014:

Kerry: Bibi? This is John. What the hell?

Netanyahu: John, I was going to call you.

Kerry: Bibi, you tell Ya’alon we’ve had enough of his reckless comments. “Messianic”?

Netanyahu: I understand you’re upset. I spoke to Ya’alon this morning and…

Kerry: That’s not the least of it! Ya’alon said the President of the United States is a “back-scratching, herb-tea-drinking, thumb-sucking Ivy League poser”, and a “golf-playing moron”.

Netanyahu: There’s nothing in the news reports that indicate Ya’alon said anything like that, John…

Kerry: This is not just about the news reports, Bibi. Some of these comments were off the record. Phone calls. Diplomatic cables…

Netanyahu: You have…wait a minute. How do you have Ya’alon’s private phone calls? I don’t even have…

Kerry: Bibi, you tell Ya’alon to back off. Tell him the United States expects a formal apology. And I want his personal apology.

Netanyahu: John, if these are just his private comments, phone calls…I seriously doubt…

Kerry: Then he called me “Obama’s little bitch” Little bitch?!

Netanyahu: (laughter)

Kerry: Bibi, this is not funny.

Netanyahu: I’m sorry John, you…Ya’alon..he’s just screwing with you. You can’t let it get to you.

Kerry: His public comments are unacceptable. This undermines…look…The United States does not have a weak foreign policy. Weak foreign policy my ass. I am so tired of hearing that.

Netanyahu: With all due respect, John, Ya’alon was speaking about the importance of leadership. The people of Israel have legitimate concerns.

Kerry: What kind of diplomatic progress can he expect if he’s calling me a “bloat face” and a “sniveling little poodle”?

Netanyahu: He really said that?

Kerry: Yes, Bibi, it really upset my family. There’s no excuse.

Netanyahu: Do you want me to say I’m sorry? On Ya’alon’s behalf, I apologize, John, I’m sure he never meant to…

Kerry: I want him to say it. I want Ya’alon to say it. Tell Ya’alon to say it. To me.

Netanyahu: You’re letting him get to you, John. Honestly, he’s just…he’s very outspoken, don’t let it…

Kerry: I’ve got a helicopter to catch, but we’re not done here, the president and I…

Netanyahu: He really called you a poodle? (laughter)

Kerry: Yes! This is not funny! You should hear the.. now it’s all over the…now I’m getting emails, even within the State Department, they’re sending dog pictures, stuffed toys, pranks…Look, I have to go.

Netanyahu: John, wait…

(end transmission)

Disclaimer: Punditfromanotherplanet cannot verify the authenticity of this transcript. We are investigating a series of documents and email jokes circulating among staff members within the State Department, trying to determine if Kerry-Netanyahu communication is authentic, or a harmless State Dept. inter-office prank. 

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7 Comments on “EXCLUSIVE: Transcript of Kerry’s Phone Call to Netanyahu Complaining About Insults”

  1. Gunny G says:

    Reblogged this on CLINGERS BLOGGING BAD ~ DICK.G: AMERICAN ! and commented:
    GYG!!!!!!!!!!

  2. […] EXCLUSIVE: Transcript of Kerry’s Phone Call to Netanyahu Complaining About Insults (punditfromanotherplanet.com) […]

  3. The Butcher says:

    Reblogged this on pundit from another planet and commented:

    This one is timely again.

  4. […] Pundit from another Planet Originally posted on pundit from another planet:Secretary of State John Kerry called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Wednesday morning […]

  5. excellent best laugh in months ! Literally ! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ha! Ha! Ha ! ….!

  6. […] [Also see – EXCLUSIVE: Transcript of Kerry’s Phone Call to Netanyahu Complaining About Insults] […]


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