Count Von Count = Ted Cruz?

Ted Cruz

5 Comments on “Count Von Count = Ted Cruz?”

  1. […] Pundit from another Planet Filed under: Humor, Mediasphere, Politics Tagged: Count Von Count, PBS, Senator Cruz, Sesame […]

  2. Except that the Count can actually count….

    • The Butcher says:

      You’re correct! In fact, before Cruz earned a Harvard law degree magna cum laude (and helped found the Harvard Latino Law Review) he clerked for Chief Justice William Rehnquist — who rumor has, it insists on working only with minorities who are poor at math.

      Harvard, too, prefers to graduate students with low math scores. This is widely known. Good call!

      • Yup, everybody knows that ivy league schools somehow cleanse morons and idiots of their laughable ideologies and poor judgment and transform them into pure, perfect human beings with zero flaws. After all, the med student who graduates just above a failing grade is still a Harvard graduate.

        That’s why everybody wants to get into colleges of the ivy ilk–not because of the rampant unpunished sex crimes while there, the decades of crippling student debt that follow, or the nonexistent guarantee of any employment thereafter–but for the honor.

        (Cue national anthem.)

      • The Butcher says:

        Absolutely, Harvard is just a festering hotbed of far-right wing nationalism, cue that anthem! Imagine the countless unpunished wicked sex crimes committed there every hour! Not to mention the pro-miliary views of its administrators, students, and professors, who are nearly all conservative christians! And we can’t forget the trilateral commission conspiracies hatched there, communist witch hunting, anti-feminist drug experiments, and endless pro-Israel brainwashing campaigns. Ever since a secret group of Harvard christian zealots put fluoride in the drinking water, and created Barack Obama in a basement laboratory to advance the secret student debt-increasing project, designed to insure minorities will be permanently excluded from power, college parties with hot girls and cheap beer have just never been the same.

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