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It’s Official: Women Voters Care About More Than Just Their Lady Parts

STEAL-MY-VAGINA

2014: The Lady Parts Election Cycle

For The Federalist writes:

Robin Williams joked that “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” When it comes to politics, the Lena Dunhams, Cosmopolitans, and ladypartsjustice.coms want to overlook the humor of that joke and make the female equivalent the focal point of their politicized lives. Lady Parts Justice lays out the skinny:

panic-hitchcock

5 REASONS TO JOIN LADY PARTS JUSTICE

  1. Because women decide elections and if we get together, blow this shit up in a smart and funny way, we just may be able to get folks to sit up, take action and reverse this erosion of rights.
  2. Because neanderthal politicians are spending all their time making laws that put YOUR body squarely into THEIR hands.
  3. Because extremist goon squads exist in EVERY statehouse in America and are sneaking in tons of creepy legislation. We’re staying on top of this shit so you can stay on top this shit.
  4. Because you use birth control.
  5. Because you like sex and it’s not all about having babies. Think about it, if it were there would be no room to stand.

TOUGH-DOLL

“[Voting] is how you keep sexist health care policies from happening.” What is sexist health care? It’s comparable to pornography—difficult to define, but they know it when they see it. Dunham also took to Instagram, with the help of friends, to talk about Planned Parenthood. Cosmo, meanwhile, is less focused on lady parts and more focused on Latinas and how sexist policies affect their lady parts. They also have a party bus, which is somehow related. No word on whether it will offer alcohol and affirmative consent forms.

“As a man, I’m probably not supposed to have an opinion on this, but I totally do. As a father of daughters, I’m actually quite opinionated on the matter. Whereas I get to make decisions based on a whole raft of factors, apparently I’m supposed to teach my daughters to ask only one question: How will this affect your vagina?”

When we mash all these things together, I’m reminded of a useful literary tool.

Synecdoche—noun \sə-ˈnek-də-(ˌ)kē\: a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole (as fifty sail for fifty ships), the whole for a part (as society for high society), the species for the genus (as cutthroat for assassin), the genus for the species (as a creature for a man), or the name of the material for the thing made (as boards for stage).

Despite its uses in writing and storytelling, though, it’s no way to live life. And that’s why the Robin Williams’ joke came to mind. Sure, it’s all about rallying female voters, but it seems women have forgotten they have other organs; that the only one that matters is the vagina and how they get to use it. Don’t get me wrong—I love the vagina, too. It’s definitely high on my unwritten list of favorite organs.

But to others, like those cited above and this person whom Maria Guido of Mommyish accurately described as bat-shit crazy, the vagina is becoming the end-all, be-all. The only organ that deserves any blood-flow. I will concede it’s wildly funny that bat-shit crazy lady attempted to use baked goods to make her point….(read more)

The Federalist

 

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One Comment on “It’s Official: Women Voters Care About More Than Just Their Lady Parts”

  1. […] The Butcher 2014: The Lady Parts Election Cycle For The Federalist, Rich Cromwell writes: Robin Williams joked […]


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