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President Obama ‘Deploying All Rhetorical Assets’ To Rescue U.S. Woman Held By ISIS

US-POLITICS-OBAMA

“Make no mistake. Anything that we could appear to be doing, we are appearing to be doing.”

President Barack Obama said the U.S. is “doing anything we verbally and symbolically can” to rescue an American woman being held hostage by the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria terrorist group.

“I know folks want me to get angry. But it’s just not the best interests of this administration to mount a meaningful offense against ISIS. We reserve our real anger for Israel, England, and other U.S. allies.”

Speaking with NBC’s “Today Show” this week, Obama said the U.S. is deploying all rhetorical efforts in order to appear to be interested in rescuing the woman held in captivity. In a series of prepared statements, Obama vowed to continue evading the subject of Islamic extremism, avoiding criticism, and improvising credible excuses for the U.S. military’s half-hearted, ineffective strikes. Instead, the administrations efforts are invested in creating an appearance of aiding Kurdish forces, while risking as little political capital as possible.

“Our moral outrage and sincere hatred must be aimed at serving a higher purpose, our crusade against Republican leadership, and members of the average American taxpaying public…that’s where America’s future is decided.”

“We’re deploying all imaginary assets that we can, placating all the coalition allies with empty gestures so that we can to return to our priority message about important domestic issues,” Obama said. “We’re in very close contact with her family, trying to maintain an image of compassion and sincerity. Obviously, this is something that is heartbreaking for families, so it’s important that we appear to be working hard on their behalf. Our obligation is to make sure that we maintain an outward appearance that we are engaged, and decisive, so that if things go well, I can take credit. And if things don’t go well, I vow to do everything in my power to lay the blame elsewhere.”

US President Barack Obama attends a military briefing with US Ambassador to Afghanistan James Cunningham (L) at Bagram Air Field, north of Kabul, in Afghanistan, May 25, 2014. Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images

“Our obligation is to make sure that we maintain an outward appearance that we are engaged, and decisive, so that if things go well, I can take credit. And if things don’t go well, I vow to do everything in my power to lay the blame elsewhere.”

“Make no mistake. Anything that we could appear to be doing, we are appearing to be doing,” Obama said of the fighting in Syria and Afghanistan. “Folks are frustrated, often times because they want action, courage, integrity, accountability, and leadership to resolve these issues. And as most Americans know, that’s just something I’m not prepared to do.”

alg-obama-west-point-jpg

ISIS also released video Tuesday purportedly showing Jordanian pilot Muath al-Kaseasbeh being burned alive. The murder followed a botched prisoner exchange with ISIS for a failed female suicide bomber being held on death row in Jordan. She has since been executed in response to al-Kaseasbeh’s death.

“I know folks want me to get angry” the president said, referring to his critics. “But it’s just not the best interests of this administration to mount a meaningful offense against ISIS. We reserve our real anger for Israel, England, and other U.S. allies. Our moral outrage and sincere hatred must be aimed at serving a higher purpose: our crusade against Republican leadership, and members of the average American taxpaying public, who are not paying their fair share. That’s where America’s future is decided.”

Conceding that White House. leadership is an essential part of any public relations military campaign, Obama continued. “It’s all about appearances. Employing empty gestures that project an image of engagement, in order to display a credible appearance of genuine concern, is the most important thing we can do until the next election.”

 

 (the above text is obviously a work of satire, adapted and rewritten from news sources, by punditfromanotherplanet news)

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3 Comments on “President Obama ‘Deploying All Rhetorical Assets’ To Rescue U.S. Woman Held By ISIS”

  1. Paul H. Lemmen says:

    Reblogged this on A Conservative Christian Man and commented:
    In other words, nothing is actually being done, they are just talking for appearances sake.
    AKA ‘blowing smoke up our asses’.

  2. Is Delta Force or SEAL Team 6 a “rhetorical asset”?


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