How White House press briefings sound in Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ head… Follow on Instagram and Twitter: @badlipreading and Facebook
During Mark Zuckerberg’s appearance before two Congressional committees, it was unclear whether the Facebook CEO knew the answer to ANYTHING. Don’t worry though, his ‘team’ will be sure to follow-up.
[VIDEO] OH YES HE DID: Teacher Strips Naked, Chases Students On Elementary School Playground, Panic EnsuesPosted: January 25, 2018
LOS ANGELES (CBSLA) – A physical education teacher at Carthay Center Elementary School outraged parents and upset students when he stripped naked on campus Friday and proceeded to chase nearby second-graders and fifth-graders.
“An individual began behaving in an unusual way, prompting us to contact law enforcement. As a safety precaution, our school went on a brief lock-down while officers responded and took the individual into custody.”
“He was supposed to be helping them learn P.E., run around and have fun,” one parent told CBS2’s Adrianna Weingold. “But he undressed and started chasing the kids while he was naked, and then the kids ducked and dodged, ran into some of the classrooms and got safe haven that way.”
“All of the kids saw his private parts. Very embarrassing, very upset.”
A video taken by a construction worker passing by the scene captured the unidentified teacher putting his pants back on in the middle of the playground.
Parents were notified of the incident via robocall as well as a letter that was sent home with students. Read the rest of this entry »
What a tragedy it would be if Democrats made good on their threat and decided DACA was so important that they must shut down the federal government over it.
Kurt Schlichter writes: What a tragedy it would be if Democrats made good on their threat and decided DACA was so important that they must shut down the federal government over it. Please don’t! Why, I’d be heartbroken if the government did less and a bunch of foreigners didn’t get rewarded for ignoring our laws. I think this is just the right hill for the Democrats to choose to fight to the death on, and I encourage them to do so. Throw us right in that briar patch, because you are smart and savvy and there’s no way a big dummy like Trump could beat you and make you look like fools.
You remember DACA? It’s an acronym that stands for “That Thing Democrats Want To Use To Fill The Voter Rolls With Foreigners And GOP Donors Want To Use To Get More Serfs To Work For Peanuts While Actual Americans Get Shafted And Called ‘Racist’ If They Dare Complain.” The Democrats desperately want DACA because you Normal people have let them down and voted for your own interests rather than in the way Nancy Pelosi instructed you. Bad, bad electorate! You definitely need to be replaced.
The GOP wants it because its big money donors want it because you actual Americans demand to be treated with respect by your employers and, well, paying Americans what they’re worth is bad for business. And the Senate GOP Sissy Caucus of sanctimonious twits wants it because it gives them a chance to pose and preen and pretend to have the moral high ground over those wicked evil bad bad bad Republicans who want to do what actual Republican voters want done instead of being guided by the eccentric moral compass that Jeff Flake keeps inside himself right next to his head.
The “Schumerhole” controversy arose because Donald Trump indicated that giving Big Amnesty everything it wanted, and in return allowing him to totally alienate his base, was a bad deal. Read the rest of this entry »
Tyler McCarthy reports: Former “Last Comic Standing” winner Iliza Shlesinger is reportedly being sued after hosting a comedy show in Los Angeles that didn’t allow men to attend. Now, she’s facing rhetoric likening one man’s incident to the Civil Rights movement.
The Hollywood Reporter obtained legal documents in which a man named George St. George alleges he purchased two tickets to the comedian’s Nov. 13 show, titled “Girls Night In WIth Iliza — No Boys Allowed.” When he arrived to pick them up at will call, he was told that he would have to sit in the back of the theater because of his gender. He and a friend went to get food and, when they returned, were told that Shlesinger and the theater had decided that no men would be admitted to the show, and they were offered a refund for their ticket.
“Girls’ Night In is a hybrid stand up show and interactive discussion between Iliza and the women in the audience aimed at giving women a place to vent in a supportive, fun and inclusive environment,” the event’s description reads. “She invites women of all walks of life to come, laugh with her and at her and be ready to share and feel safe for an awesome night of comedy and love.” Read the rest of this entry »
Did an episode of ‘The Simpsons’ from 19 years ago predict the future? It shows the entrance to 20th Century Fox’s movie studios with fine print below the logo that reads “A Division Of Walt Disney Company.” The episode is coming to light after Disney purchased 21st Century Fox for $52.4 billion Thursday morning. The deal includes Fox’s 39 percent stake in satellite broadcaster Sky and the 20th Century Fox film studio, Disney announced. It’s not the first time the show has had a crystal ball.
‘The Lizard People Are Real!’: Armed with Assault Rifle, Pierce County Man Prepares to Battle ‘Lizard People’Posted: December 6, 2017
PARKLAND, Wash. — A 55-year-old Eatonville man armed himself with an AK-47 and a pistol over the weekend to battle “the lizard people,” the Pierce County Sheriff’s Office said.
The man told law enforcement that President Trump had called to warn him.
The man ended up being sent to a hospital for treatment and a mental health evaluation.
Just after 8 p.m. Saturday, a witness called 911 to report a white Jeep Cherokee was stopped at 108th Street South and Pacific Avenue South in Parkland.
A state trooper later reported that a man got out of the Cherokee was was waving around an AK-47 and a pistol.
A number of troopers and deputies converged. The man put the guns back in the car. He was ordered to the ground, where he began to scream about “sending in the news” and “the lizard people,” the Sheriff’s Department said.
He resisted when officers tried to handcuff him. A trooper and a Sheriff’s Department deputy both used a Taser on him, the Sheriff’s Department said.
The Sheriff’s Department says the man told a deputy that he had “snorted methamphetamine to lose weight” and that he was taking prescribed morphine. Read the rest of this entry »
Brooks, known for his plethora of acclaimed comedy movies, said political correctness was becoming a stranglehold on comedians.
“It’s not good for comedy. Comedy has to walk a thin line, take risks,” he said.
“Comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king’s ear, always telling the truth about human behaviour.”
The producer and director said that his iconic western parody Blazing Saddles could not be made in today’s political climate.
The 1974 comedy western starring Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder featured a black sheriff in a racist town.
Brooks said it was the racial prejudice portrayed within the film that was the mechanism behind its cultural significance.
“Without that the movie would not have had nearly the significance, the force, the dynamism and the stakes that were contained in it,” he said.
BERKELEY, CA—UC Berkeley’s recently installed “opposing worldview” alarm system began blaring right on schedule Thursday afternoon, as conservative author and speaker Ben Shapiro arrived on campus to deliver a speech titled “Say No to Campus Thuggery.”
As the noted author and news personality breached the campus perimeter, the piercing sirens began echoing across the campus, accompanied by an automated message telling students to “This is not a test. Please stay in your dormitories. We are currently in an active conservative situation. This is not a test.” Read the rest of this entry »
LAFAYETTE, LA – With the heavy rains quickly approaching the Acadiana area over the next few days, the Cajun Navy can take heart in the fact that their new naval destroyer has been delivered to them in their efforts to help the local populous.
Thanks to plenty of donations to the Cajun Navy after last year’s August floods, the group were able to purchase the $1.8b Arleigh Burke-Class Destroyer, and it seems that it has been completed just in the nick of time.
“We were loading up the trusty yet old wooden boat onto the back of a truck when the contractor called”, explained Cajun Navy member Robert Kraft, “He said that it was ready for usage and that he’d parked it in a Youngsville neighborhood with the keys in the ignition. It couldn’t have come at a better time, what with Harvey hitting the area as it has done.” Read the rest of this entry »
As HBO’s blockbuster series Game of Thrones returns for its seventh season, Reason offers its own freedom-filled parody. A libertarian paradise north of the wall? What’s happened to Westeros’ social security trust fund? Should it take low-income Dothraki four years to get a hair-braiding license?
Written and produced by Austin Bragg, Meredith Bragg, and Andrew Heaton. Shot and edited by Bragg and Bragg. Starring Andrew Heaton, Austin Bragg, and Remy.
Kurt Schlichter writes: If you ever had any doubt that Donald Trump was right that the mainstream media is the enemy of the American people, CNN corrected your inexplicable inability to comprehend this painfully obvious truth by choosing July 4th to threaten some guy for daring to make fun of Its Medianess Holiness. Apparently, if you dare defy the media it has the right to wreck your life – as long as you are an anti-Obama rodeo clown or a meme-making rando on Reddit. If you are a zillionaire like Anthony Scaramucci with the bucks to hire top flight law firms and Gawkerize its lame carcass – which I would have done in a split-second if CNN had lied about me the way it did about him – then you get a free pass.
Instead of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable, CNN’s new motto is apparently “Confront the afflicted and settle with the comfortable.” Every time I see the CNN logo I hear James Earl Jones‘s voice intoning “This is CNN, and we suck.”
But actually, maybe we should all thank CNN for its work guaranteeing Trump’s second term.
Now, before we move on, someone is going to point out that the meme guy is kind of a jerk and said stuff that offends decent people. So? How is that the point? This is a multi-billion dollar media corporation using all its power to threaten an individual into not criticizing it. How is that ever okay? And don’t pretend for a minute this media extortion precedent gets limited to outlier Reddit guys. Normal Americans are next.
The media babbles about “principles,” but as soon as they become inconvenient then out the window go those precious “principles.” A silly wrestling gif supporting the president “promotes violence against the media,” but a week before that funding a play where President Trump is stabbed to death was artful political commentary? That’s my objection to all this recent “principles” talk. Read the rest of this entry »
Bradford Richardson reports: CNN has come under fire for suggesting it will publish the identity of a private citizen if he behaves in a way that displeases the network.
Andrew Kaczynski, senior editor of CNN’s KFile, discovered the identity of the Reddit user who made a short video of President Trump tackling a man with CNN’s logo superimposed on his face to the ground.
CNN is withholding the man’s identity “because he is a private citizen who has issued an extensive statement of apology, showed his remorse by saying he has taken down all his offending posts, and because he said he is not going to repeat this ugly behavior on social media again,” Mr. Kaczynski wrote in an article published Tuesday night.
“CNN reserves the right to publish his identity should any of that change,” he continued.
Source: Washington Times
Lisa de Moraes reports: If you too guessed the Redditor who had boasted he originated the CNN-bashing GIF used by President Donald Trump suddenly apologized for same because he found out CNN knew who he was — congratulations!
And, if you also guessed “HanA**holeSolo” has pleaded with CNN not to reveal his identity because he’s scared for his personal safety, and because it would embarrass him to be outed as the person behind the GIF and various anti-Semitic and racist Reddit rants – go to the head of the class.
CNN reported Tuesday night it has agreed not to reveal the guy’s name, but reserves the right to do so should he ever repeat his “ugly behavior on social media.”
“HanA**holeSolo” initially boasted he originated the GIF behind Trump’s tweet in which Trump is seen pounding on the head of a man whose face has been swapped for the CNN logo.
HAS first shared the GIF last Wednesday; CNN reports it could find no earlier instance of the GIF that subsequently was edited to add sound before being tweeted by Trump on Sunday.
After Trump’s tweet, “HanA**holeSolo” took a victory lap, via Reddit:
“Holy s—!! I wake up and have my morning coffee and who retweets my s—post but the MAGA EMPORER himself!!! I am honored!!”
CNN reports its KFile identified the man, using information he had posted on Reddit and Facebook. On Monday, KFile reached out to the man by email and phone, but he did not respond. Read the rest of this entry »
Bored traveler David McDonald has found a novel (if slightly nefarious) way to pass the time at airports.
Prior to his Wednesday afternoon flight from Miami to London, McDonald made himself a sticker that looked exactly like an electrical outlet. Later, upon arriving at Miami International Airport, he placed the sticker in an outlet-deficient area of the terminal, then sat back and waited for an unsuspecting passenger to fall for his prank.
Got one! pic.twitter.com/bfxE4TFTWr
— Just Basic Dave (@JustBasicDave) June 14, 2017
Just like McDonald predicted, empty outlets were scarce enough that at least two of his fellow passengers fell for the gag, each of whom repeatedly tried to jam their phone chargers into the sticker.
According to the prankster, his marks weren’t even that miffed. Once they figured out what was going on, McDonald says they played along for the benefit of future victims.
Got em! pic.twitter.com/YFz4Dh80qo
— Just Basic Dave (@JustBasicDave) June 14, 2017
“After I was done videotaping, I told them what I did and they all laughed,” McDonald told ABC News. “And we acted like nothing happened and waited for the next person to try it.”
McDonald also told the site that he first got the idea during a chat with his co-workers.
“We talked about how outlets are always scarce at the airport,” McDonald said. “We thought a sticker would be a great idea to pass time.” Read the rest of this entry »
Bob Fredericks writes: Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) comically mocked the allegations that Attorney General Jeff Sessions collluded with the Russians during a campaign event at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington during a campaign …
“It’s just like through the looking glass. I mean, what is this? I explained how in good faith I said I had not met with Russians because they were suggesting I as a surrogate had been meeting continuously with Russians. I didn’t meet with them.”
— Attorney General Jeff Sessions
“Mr. Sessions, are you familiar with what spies call trade craft?” Cotton asked, prompting the attorney general to warily reply, “A little bit.”
“That involves things like covert communications and dead drops and brush passes, right? Do you like spy fiction? Do you like Jason Bourne or James Bond movies?” Cotton continued before slamming the probe.
“Have you ever, ever in any of these fantastical situations heard of a plot line so ridiculous that a sitting United States senator and an ambassador of a foreign government colluded at an open setting with hundreds of other people to pull off the greatest caper in the history of espionage?” he asked, prompting Sessions to laugh for the first time during the Senate Intelligence Committee hearing. Read the rest of this entry »
What is it with headless humor these days?
The June 7 issue of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo arrives on the heels of the Manchester and London Bridge terrorist attacks. Indeed, the bubble remark–‘Too much is too much’–comes from remarks made by U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May in the wake of the latter June 3 incidents.
The cover is tasteless. English-language media reaction is just starting to trickle in, but stay car-tooned. There will be lots of it. The cover line, translated, reads as ‘Multiculturalism is the British Way.’
Gee whiz, artists are so sensitive!
Nick Fugallo and Max Jaeger report: City sculptor Alex Gardega — seething over the “Fearless Girl” statue being placed across from Wall Street’s “Charging Bull” — has decided to retaliate with a work of his own.
Gardega created a statue of a small dog, titled “Pissing Pug,” and his sloppily crafted pooch takes direct aim at “Fearless Girl” — or, at least, at her left leg.
“This is corporate nonsense,” Gardega told The Post of “Fearless Girl,” saying it was put opposite artist Arturo Di Modica’s famed bull as a publicity stunt by a Boston-based financial firm.
“It has nothing to do with feminism, and it is disrespect to the artist that made the bull,” he said. “That bull had integrity.”
The Upper West Side artist sniffed that he even made his dog particularly poorly just to stick it to “Fearless Girl” even more.
“I decided to build this dog and make it crappy to downgrade the statue, exactly how the girl is a downgrade on the bull,” said Gardega, who has never met the other statues’ creators. Read the rest of this entry »
In the twilight hours of a special election to replace Montana’s lone congressman, Republican hopeful Greg Gianforte reportedly “body slammed” and punched a Guardian reporter after the journalist tried to ferret out an answer about GOP health care plans. In this video Reason TV imagines a world in which other, high profile politicians give into violent impulses when confronted by the press.
Polls opened in Montana less than twenty-four hours after Gianforte’s confrontation with Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs, and his subsequent assault charge. In the event that Mr. Gianforte is elected to Congress there is a reasonable chance he will interact with more journalists in the future, and possibly even have to formulate responses to Republican legislation at some point.