CONFIRMED: Nancy Pelosi Under the Influence of LSD at Press Conference

“I never saw anything like what Harry Reid did. To watch him, was to watch a master at work.”

pelositrippin“This was an opportunity cost of time. We could have been talking about jobs, farm bill, immigration, any number of issues that need to be addressed, and I commend the Speaker for coming around for bringing it to the floor. I salute — I never saw anything like what Harry Reid did. To watch him, was to watch a master at work. He was superb, intellectually, politically astute, and just the sheer stamina of it all. And it was a sign of the respect that his members have for him.”

Nancy excused herself from the podium, put on sunglasses, congratulated her staff and associates, then got into a van with an unnamed member of the press corp, where they remained for 20 minutes.

According to a White House source, and confirmed by others in the parking lot, Nancy and the journalist reportedly smoked a doobie while listening to the 1970s jazz-rock-fusion Supergroup Mahavishnu Orchestra‘s “Between Nothingness and Eternity“, at extremely high volume.

“I had to cut sound on my microphone, the noise from the van was bleeding in” a TV reporter complained.

Asked later about her taste in music, Nancy was eager to discuss early-’70s rock-funk and jazz. “Jan Hammer’s keyboard work is amazing”, Nancy said, walking to her office. “Though I really like John McLaughlin‘s earlier work, in Lifetime, with Tony Williams, and Bitches Brew, with Miles Davis. Have you ever heard McLaughlin’s solo album, Devotion? There’s a song on there “Don’t let the Dragon Eat your Mother” that totally kicks ass”. She added “The engineering on the album isn’t ideal, but McLaughlin’s guitar solos are mind-melting”.

h/t Hot Air