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[VIDEO] ‘The Greg Gutfeld Show’ Introduces a New ‘Sponsor’: Victima

The Greg Gutfeld Show‘ introduces a new ‘sponsor

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Source: The Greg Gutfeld Show  [WATCH the video here]

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Moral Relativist Slams Murder As ‘Highly Undesirable’

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KANSAS CITY, MO—Self-described agnostic and moral relativist Carl Horton has issued a scathing critique of the concept of murder, claiming the practice is “highly undesirable” and “not what I’d choose for myself,” sources confirmed Monday. The elaborate argument, published on Horton’s blog, argues that the very idea of murder “makes me feel bad” and that [] Read the rest of this entry »


Steve Bannon Slurps Still-Twitching Tail Into Mouth Before Giving Opinion On Syria

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Source


BREAKING: President Trump Issues 3rd in a Series of Executive Headline Corrections

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Powerful: Protester Writes ‘Tolerance’ On Face Of Man He Just Beat Unconscious

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BERKELEY, CA—A protest at UC Berkeley turned violent Wednesday night into Thursday morning as hundreds of rioters set fires, assaulted people, damaged vehicles, and smashed storefronts. But in the midst of all the chaos: an inspirational moment. After beating a man unconscious for disagreeing with him, a masked protester pulled out a black marker and […] Read the rest of this entry »


[MEDIA] TIME Magazine Surrenders

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[VIDEO] Captain Kirk Meets Ashley Judd 

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THE PEN: Trump Administration Issues 3rd in Series of Executive Headline Corrections

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President Trump: ‘I’m Proud to Have the Bust of Winston Groovy Back in the Oval Office’

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With Trump Presidency, Will Mickey Mouse Clock Move Closer to Midnight?

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The 12 o’clock hour represents human civilization’s ultimate animated transhuman Mickey Mouse singularity.

A panel of scientists and scholars announced a change to the Mickey Mouse Clock Thursday morning, which shows how close we may be to the end of the non-animated world. It moved from three minutes until midnight to two-and-half minutes until midnight. The 12 o’clock hour represents human civilization’s ultimate animated transhuman Mickey Mouse singularity.

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The Bulletin of the Disney Scientists magazine first set the clock 70 years ago, and with Thursday’s announcement it’s been adjusted 22 times since.

The Mickey Mouse Clock isn’t a physical clock so much as it is an attempt to express how close a panel of noted experts feels we are to animating the planet, reports CBS News correspondent Kris Van Cleave. Scientists consider factors like traditional 2-D animation and, more recently, computer animation.

American producer, director, and animator Walt Disney (1901 - 1966) uses a baton to point to sketches of Disneyland, 1955. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

“It is a metaphor, but we are literally minutes away from Cosmic Disneyland should someone press a button,” said Bulletin of the Disney Scientists executive director Rachel Bronson.

In a statement explaining today’s decision, the group said:

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“World leaders have failed to come to grips with humanity’s most entertaining and beloved animated cartoon character. Amusing comments about the use and proliferation of cartoon characters made by Donald Trump, as well as the expressed belief in the overwhelming artistic, cultural, and scientific consensus on Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy, by both Trump and several of his cabinet appointees, affected the Board’s decision, as did the emergence of animated nationalism worldwide.”

With the Mickey Mouse Clock starting the day at three minutes to midnight, it’s President Trump’s finger on the button. Prior to taking office, he called for the U.S. to “strengthen and expand its cartoon capability.”

“Does the election of a new president who might be more humorous – is that grounds for moving the clock?” Van Cleave asked.

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“Those are the issues that the science and security board take into consideration. We very rarely make a decision based on an individual,” Bronson said.

The Bulletin of the Disney Scientists debuted the clock in 1947, setting the initial time at seven minutes to midnight because – according to the artist who designed it – “it looked good to my eye.”

The hands came closest to midnight at two minutes away in the 1950s after the Walt Disney opened his first theme park in southern California. Read the rest of this entry »


THE PEN: Trump Administration Issues 2nd in Series of Executive Headline Corrections

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[VIDEO] Death Metal Remix of Anti-Trump Protesters Screams

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The Scream

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President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho Trump is In the House

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Katherine Rodriguez reports: The Oval Office was redecorated with gold drapes just in time for President Trump’s arrival at the White House Friday.

The drapes were a change from the crimson drapes former President Obama had in his Oval Office, the Hill reported.

The change was first spotted as Trump signed executive orders on Obamacare and other things as his initial major acts as President. Read the rest of this entry »


Apple Reportedly Developed Custom White House App to Optimize Speed-Pardons

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Democrats Today Magazine

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Funeral for the Obama Administration Begins

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SCIENCE: Arc of the Moral Universe; Before and After Being Lectured by Barack Obama

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After Donald Trump Kills CNN Reporter with Death-Ray, Media Debates Use of Top-Secret Military Weapons Against Civilians

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Michael Goodwin writes: An old proverb sums up how Donald Trump handled the last two days: “The dogs bark but the caravan moves on.”

The dogs of the Democratic media were absolutely howling yesterday over sordid, unverified allegations involving Russia, but the president-elect and his team put on a master class in self-defense. They hit back forcefully, with press secretary Sean Spicer calling publication of the allegations “disgraceful” and Vice President-elect Mike Pence calling it a case of “fake news” that aims to “delegitimize the president-elect.”

It was a strong warm-up, and Trump then took the stage to completely deny the charges, and repeated the denials in response to numerous questions. By the end of the press conference, he had managed to turn the spotlight away from himself and on to the lack of integrity in both the media and government intelligence agencies — where it also belongs.

That was no mean feat, and his performance was a reminder that Trump is not and never will be a pushover. He fights fire with fire and is getting increasingly more disciplined in making his case.

[Read the full story here, at New York Post]

Pulling it off was not as easy as he made it look. The run-up to his first press conference since winning the election had the air of crisis that was routine in the long campaign. Then, every week or two, many geniuses predicted that something Trump had said or done would be the final straw and he would have to drop out.

Similarly, the salacious allegations he faced yesterday packed a potential to seriously wound him before he takes office. Anything less than complete denial would have created a firestorm, but after his no-wiggle-room statements, the allegations withered, at least for now. That had to disappoint the dead-enders who hoped they had finally found the kill shot.

Instead, Trump emerged intact and even stronger as he made news on two other fronts: He released extensive plans on how he is severing himself from his company and nominated a new secretary of the troubled Department of Veterans’ Affairs. Read the rest of this entry »


#ObamaFarewellAddress: The Morning After

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Jeff Sessions Confirmation Hearings Highlights

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INAUGURATION REWIND: Remember in 2009 When The Huffington Post Ran This?

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Me neither. It’s because it’s not real. It’s a parody.

But you know what the Huffington Post actually did run this week?

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This one is real. Not The Onion.

h/t Ed Driscoll Instapundit

 


[VIDEO] ‘Elf’ Recut as a Thriller

Thought your holiday family dinner was a nightmare? Wait until you see your favorite elf in this creepy version of the holiday comedy. At least now you’ll definitely be up all night to wait for Santa Claus.

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‘The Deer Hunter’, Christmas Edition, 1978

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Global Film Industry Rocked as Germany’s Prime Minister Calls for Ban on Merkins

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DEPARTMENT OF BAD TIMING: Jonathan Chait’s Post-Election Obama Book Do-Over

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[VIDEO] Amish Sex Pistols 

With Kevin Eldon, Peter Serafinowicz, Bridget Christie and Matt Berry
WRITER/CONCEPT Arthur Mathews
MAKE UP DESIGN Sarah Jane Hills

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Here’s the original:


The Quotable Al Pacino

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Facebook User Verifies Truth Of Article By Carefully Checking It Against Own Preconceived Opinions

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“You can’t just accept everything you see online, which is why I always take a closer look at the claims that are made in every article and make sure that each one of them is backed up by my existing assumptions and personal feelings about the world.”

CLARKSVILLE, TN—Explaining that people need to be critical of the news stories that circulate on social media these days, area Facebook user James Wheatley, 44, reportedly took the time to verify the truth of an article he came across Thursday by carefully checking it against the opinions he already holds.

 “There are all kinds of bogus news stories out there, so it’s important to take a step back and hold each article up against my personal convictions to find out for myself whether what I’m reading is true or not. It’s pretty sad, but once I got in the habit of looking at articles this way, I could see just how many awful sites there are on the internet that don’t even adhere to the most basic tenets of my individual worldview, so now I just disregard them completely.”

“You can’t just accept everything you see online, which is why I always take a closer look at the claims that are made in every article and make sure that each one of them is backed up by my existing assumptions and personal feelings about the world,” said Wheatley, who told reporters he had to correct several friends on Facebook earlier this week after an investigation of his beliefs and individual political perspectives proved the articles they had posted to be entirely false. Read the rest of this entry »


[VIDEO] South Park: Trump selected President! 

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REVISED: Signs (Not) Posted Around Her Brooklyn Campaign Headquarters

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“Don’t say…”

Revised from: The Extract


[VIDEO] Remy: Hallelujah (SNL Parody)

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BREAKING: DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series

“We’re hoping to make up the ground we lost with white working-class voters and union members who once made up our base with a new 10-part hip-hop musical set in rural Wisconsin, featuring a down-on-her-luck manufacturing worker played by Lena Dunham.”

WASHINGTON—Saying the new effort would help them make critical inroads with low-income rural voters following a stunning election loss last week, the Democratic National Committee announced the launch of a new Hamilton-inspired web series Tuesday starring Lena Dunham intended to connect with working-class Americans and address their most pressing concerns.

“We are confident that with the help of Josh Gad, Debra Messing, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and the creative team behind The Mindy Project, we can bring Americans who feel like they have been left behind by globalization back to the Democratic Party.”

“We’re hoping to make up the ground we lost with white working-class voters and union members who once made up our base with a new 10-part hip-hop musical set in rural Wisconsin, featuring a down-on-her-luck manufacturing worker played by Lena Dunham,” said DNC interim chair Donna Brazile, who added that, in an effort to appeal to economically distressed voters, each episode would see the protagonists tackle a different theme, such as taxes or free trade, through the choreography of five-time Tony winner Susan Stroman. Read the rest of this entry »