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The Dead Parrot Flaccid Penis Caper: ‘It’s Garry Shandling’s Show’ Writer Janis Hirsch

Comedy Writer Reveals Lurid Details of Harassment on Set — and Why It Cost Her a Job.

Janis Hirsch writes: In 1986, after only three or four years in Los Angeles, Garry Shandling called to offer me a job on his new show. I don’t remember how I knew Garry well enough for him to call me, but whenever I’d run into him at Hugo’s, we’d share a laugh or two, and once he asked me if I could help him find a snake man. Even though I lived in a snake-free condo, I found him one. And not to brag, but this was before Google.

Anyway, he offered me a job on Showtime’s It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, and even though all I knew was the title, that was enough for me. It started out as a lot of fun. A bunch of cool, smart guys and me working on a show where Garry didn’t just break the fourth wall but rode around behind it in a golf cart.

Once we got on the air, we were golden. I was, at any rate; I wrote two of first six episodes, both of which got a nice write-up in the L.A. Times, both of which said nice things about me, the writer, the only woman on staff. What could possibly go wrong?

The guys started excluding me from meetings: “Oh, we couldn’t find you”…at my desk. Then they started excluding me from the table, instead assigning me “the slit scenes” to write. Even though these scenes were the ones that featured the only female castmember, it didn’t occur to me exactly what slit they were referring to until one day in the ladies room.

[Read the full story here, at Hollywood Reporter]

My mantra became, “I won’t cry until I get home.” It was amended to “I won’t cry until I get into the parking lot,” which became “I won’t cry until I get into the stairwell,” which morphed into “Fuck, I’m crying.’

One day, I was sitting in Garry’s office across the desk from him. A few of the writers and one of the actors were in the room, too. I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned, and there was that actor’s flaccid penis draped on it like a pirate’s dead parrot. Riotous laughter ensued from all but one of us. Read the rest of this entry »

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HONG KONG WRONG: iPhone 7’s New Slogan Translates to ‘This is Penis’ in Cantonese

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The Cantonese language uses subtly different tones to differentiate between words. The Cantonese pronunciation of ‘seven’ (七) uses a ‘cat1’ tone, according to the Chinese Character Database of Chinese University of Hong Kong.

Apple launched its iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus at a live event in San Francisco this week. One of the technology firm’s biggest market is China, which includes the mainland, Taiwan and Hong Kong.

Apple’s ‘This is 7’ slogan for its new iPhone 7 has a rather unfortunate translation in Hong Kong.

Smartphone users have been mocking the technology firm’s latest marketing line because it sounds just like ‘This is penis’ in Cantonese.

The iPhone 7 slogan as it appears on Apple's site  in China, Taiwan and Hong Kong (l-r)

China is one of Apple’s biggest markets, but the translations for its new slogan differ drastically across mainland China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

“A common example is the Hong Kong’s Chief Executive CY Leung who is nicknamed as ‘689’ after being elected to his post with just 689 votes from an election committee – regrettably missing a ‘seven’.”

Apple boss Tim Cook introduces the iPhone 7 during an Apple special event in San Francisco

While mainlanders and Taiwanese people predominantly speak Mandarin, Hong Kong dwellers typically converse in Cantonese, which is why the comical translation only affects them.

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“Earlier this year, Korean technoloy firm Samsung faced similar mockery in Hong Kong following the launch of its Galaxy Note 7.”

Many Cantonese speakers in Hong Kong took to social media to mock the x-rated gaffe, reports Quartz.

Tim Cook unveils newly-designed iPhone 7 at Apple Keynote

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“The number ‘seven’ is a common euphemism of a Cantonese profanity word referring to penis, which only differs slightly in the tone. Number ‘seven’ is widely deployed in local politics.”

‘The slogan “7, is here” in China is the best. They got so many “7”s,’ said one Facebook user.

‘Why didn’t people say anything during the launch of Windows 7?’ queried another. Read the rest of this entry »


Presidential Election 2016: It’s Come To This

penis

Donald Trump assured American voters Thursday night that despite what Marco Rubio had suggested, there was “no problem” with the size of his hands — or anything else…(read more)

Source: CNNPolitics.com


[VIDEO] News Anchor Powers Her Way Through Story About ‘Lab Grown Vaginas’

 “That was a tough story for me to read, I just wanted you to know that.”

“Lab-grown vaginas.” I defy you not to giggle just a little at that. And yes, it’s a real thing, lab-grown vaginal organs were successfully implanted in four teenage girls. A big victory for science! But a very awkward story to cover on the local news. WGN Morning News anchor Robin Baumgarten did her best to power through the story, keeping a straight face as she did a report where the word vagina was used twice.

After the brief report, she remarked, “That was a tough story for me to read, I just wanted you to know that.” In came co-anchor Larry Potash, cracking wise and asking her if saying “coochie-coo” would have made it easier to get through.

Read the rest of this entry »


Lovelorn Chinese bachelor cuts off penis, bikes to hospital

note: this is a stock image of a knife from Getty Images. No actual penis was harmed in the preparation of the illustration for this important news item.

Disclaimer: This is a stock image. No actual penis was harmed by this knife for this news item! / Getty Images

A Chinese man is without his penis today after he cut it off, in a fit of depression over the lack of romance in his life.

Once the man, Yang Hu, severed his junk, he apparently experienced second thoughts and also quite a bit of pain, reports the Daily Mail. So, he decided to ride his bicycle to a local hospital.

One thing Yang, 26, failed to bring with him to the hospital was his penis. Consequently, says the Daily Mirror, doctors sent him away — on his bike — to retrieve it.

Somehow, the man was actually able to return for his penis. However, when he finally got back to the hospital, penis in hand, there was more bad news. Doctors told him that he had lost so much blood that reattachment was no longer surgically possible.

Read the rest of this entry »