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Jerry Seinfeld: ‘Every Day I Am Carsick’

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‘I am forced to drive all over the world and I become so dizzy and carsick that I can’t help but blast the car’s horn while puke rockets out of my mouth and breaks through he windshield like a geyser eruption.’

Please help me. Every day I am dragged screaming from my home and stuffed into a gorgeous car that costs a million dollars and I am forced to drive forever in nauseating circles while one of my loud comedian friends screams at me. It is Hell. It is a true misery to be Jerry Seinfeld. Every day I am carsick.

I do not want to be in the cars. The cars are my prison. Every moment that I am in the beautiful fancy cars is nauseous agony for me. While I lie sleeping in my bed, strong hands grab me by the head and they shove me into the driver’s seat of the most beautiful car I have ever seen and I’m not allowed to leave. I am forced to drive all over the world and I become so dizzy and carsick that I can’t help but blast the car’s horn while puke rockets out of my mouth and breaks through he windshield like a geyser eruption. This is no way for Jerry Seinfeld to live…(read more)

Source: ClickHole

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BREAKING: Court Affidavit Reveals Suspect in DC Quadruple Murder ‘Did Not Act Alone’

Four people died in a house fire near Vice President Joe Biden's home in Washington, D.C. on Thursday afternoon, and the police are still searching for the reason why.

An court affidavit released Friday says the suspect in the slayings of a northwest D.C. family and their housekeeper was not alone in carrying out the murders

The document says Daron Dylon Wint and “others” were involved in the murders of the Savopoulos family and their housekeeper, according to MyFoxDC.

The news comes as Wint awaits a court arraignment on Friday afternoon after leading cops on a massive manhunt.

“Wint is accused of storming a Washington mansion…he allegedly held the family while ordering them to summon a courier with $40,000, then killed all four, dousing them with gasoline before setting the home on fire.”

The multi-state search for the suspect in the horrific murders of a Washington businessman’s family and their housekeeper ended late Thursday when police grabbed suspect Daron Dylon Wint and four associates in the nation’s capital.

“Just got him,” D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier said shortly before 11:30 p.m.

The arrest capped a day that began with the revelation Wint had been identified in last week’s murders of Savvas Savopoulos, 46; his wife Amy, 47; the couple’s 10-year-old son Philip, and housekeeper Veralicia Figueroa, 57, by DNA left on pizza crust during what may have been an extended home invasion. Police traced Wint, a 34-year-old ex-con from Maryland, to Brooklyn, N.Y., and then back to Washington in the afternoon.

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“Sources told WTTG that Savvos and Amy Savopoulos, as well as Veralicia Figueroa, were found in chairs and doused with gasoline. Philip Savopoulos was found in his bed, covered in lacerations and burned beyond recognition.”

Federal marshals had been tracking Wint Thursday night from College Park as he traveled in a white Chevrolet Cruze occupied by two unidentified women, police said. The car was following a white box truck, reportedly driven by Wint’s brother and with another man inside. Both vehicles were stopped by marshals near 10th Street and Rhode Island Avenue NE, the official said. Police found at least $10,000 in cash in the box truck, and all of the occupants were taken into custody, according to police.

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“The arrest capped a day that began with the revelation Wint had been identified in last week’s murders of Savvas Savopoulos, 46; his wife Amy, 47; the couple’s 10-year-old son Philip, and housekeeper Veralicia Figueroa, 57, by DNA left on pizza crust during what may have been an extended home invasion.”

Wint is accused of storming a Washington mansion near Vice President Biden’s residence and owned by Savopoulos, the CEO of an iron works company. There, he allegedly held the family while ordering them to summon a courier with $40,000, then killed all four, dousing them with gasoline before setting the home on fire.

The four were found dead in the Savolpoulos family’s burning home in a wealthy Northwest Washington neighborhood on the afternoon of May 14.

No other suspects have been identified, but police have not ruled out the possibility that other people were involved in the murders.

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“While it does not abate our pain, we hope that it begins to restore a sense of calm and security to our neighborhood and to our city. We are blessed to live in a community comprised of close circles of friends who have supported us and grieve with us.”

— Savopoulos family statement

Wint is expected to make his initial appearance in D.C. Superior Court Friday afternoon, according to the Washington Post.

Following Wint’s capture, the Savopoulos family released a statement, saying, “We are thankful to law enforcement who have worked so diligently to bring about an arrest in this case.”

“During the family’s final hours, someone called Domino’s from their house and ordered pizza. The Washington Post reported that the DNA was found on a pizza crust. At a Domino’s about 2 miles away, a worker told the AP that a pizza was delivered from there to the mansion that day.”

“While it does not abate our pain, we hope that it begins to restore a sense of calm and security to our neighborhood and to our city. We are blessed to live in a community comprised of close circles of friends who have supported us and grieve with us,” the statement said. “Our family, and Vera’s family, have suffered unimaginable loss, and we ask for the time and space to grieve privately.”

Authorities said Thursday that Wint, a certified welder, worked for Savopoulos’ company American Iron Works in the past. Savopoulos was the CEO of American Iron Works, a construction-materials supplier based in Hyattsville, Maryland, that has been involved in major projects in downtown Washington. Read the rest of this entry »


6 Things to Say About the New Corvette Stingray to Impress Your Man

It's got that V-8 engine thing inside, and it goes Vroom Vroom

It’s got that V-8 engine thing inside, and it goes Vroom Vroom

While contributing Editor Dr. Strangelove (a long time ‘vette-head) is deeply involved in Hong Kong Law concerns, I’ll publicly admit what he’s jazzed me about privately for as long as I can remember:  my ignorance about cars. Not only am I a complete moron when it comes to the automotive world (even though I myself own a popular sports car) I’d go further, and say that I know less about cars than Jenny.  I’ll let Jenny take the wheel from here.

Women readers: is your husband or boyfriend a Vette enthusiast? From the Love & Sex department at The Stir, Conservative chick Jenny Erikson shares this handy guide to impress your due:

phnmtuxako1bc72Let me preface this by saying I know very, very little about cars other than that I like shiny ones that go fast. But I do know how to flirt, and sometimes the best flirting is to have a little bit of knowledge about something boys find interesting. Like fast cars. See? In the Venn diagram of things boys and girls both like, fast cars exist in that middle overlapped section.

So I thought I’d learn a little more about the new 2014 Corvette Stingray, because apparently it’s the best sports car America has ever built. Read the rest of this entry »