Today’s Roger Sterling Moment

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Tweet of the Day: Orwell on Journalism

 


BREAKING: Al Shabab Lawyers File Trademark Infringement Lawsuit Against California Dem Rep George Miller

members of Somalia's al-Shabab jihadist movement seen during exercises at their military training camp outside Mogadishu.

Plaintiffs: Public Relations Operatives of Somalia’s al-Shabab jihadist movement seen taking break during exercises at their military training camp outside Mogadishu to discuss their lawsuit against George Miller (D) 

MOGADISHU – file – Public relations representatives of Somali’s al-Shabab jihadist movement announced today that George Miller (D) violated their trademark and used their image improperly by accusing Congressional Republicans of “waging Jihad” against the American People.

“He said it on the floor of Congress.” said one operative, “He used the term jihad, which we registered for the exclusive use of authentic, legitimate jihadist terror campaign operatives, and the various partnerships that share licensing fees. Miller is not among them.”

“We saw it on YouTube. I contacted our attorney immediately.” said one of the group “I sent emails to other jihadist groups, too”.

A senior member of al-Shabab’s legal advisory group arrived in Washington D.C. this morning. Speaking through an interpreter, he told the press:

“George Miller, and some of his colleagues, have received warnings before. Unless he goes through the proper channels, and licenses the use of our exclusive jihadist trademark, through our Mogadishu office, he’s in violation. This goes for any public figure improperly using our brand”.

Speaking on behalf of the group’s Public Relations division on location in Mogadishu, al-Shabab’s acting regional attourney added, “We take this very seriously, it’s my client’s registered trademark, and we’ve successfully protected it in the courts before”.

When reached for comment, legal counsel for Rep. George Miller–who asked that his name not be used in this report, for fear that his family would be in grave danger–dismissed the suit as frivolous, questioning al-Shabab’s trademark claims, and expressing confidence that his client would prevail.

“George was speaking metaphorically. His fellow lawmakers knew that, and the American people know it. Al-shabab’s public relations groups file lawsuits like this all the time. Why? Because funding for jihadist groups has extended to using legal victories to bankroll their terror activities”.

Al-shabab’s legal team disagreed. “We’ll see Rep George Miller in court. If he wants to settle out of court, we’ll expect to see what his attorney has to say, through intermediaries.”

Representative George Miller could not be reached for comment.


Translating the Tweets of Brainstorming Al Qaeda Fans


Original Osama bin Laden photo via

Last week, it was brought to a lot of people’s attention that al Qaeda were active on Twitter. This was slightly less surprising than it sounds. At a grassroots level, these early masters of the viral beheading video know social media’s black magic well enough, which is probably why they decided to crowdsource ideas of how they could improve their online image.

They organized a hashtag session, encouraging supporters to shout out their own suggestions for this PR revamp. Unfortunately for the jihadists, a US terrorism expert called JM Berger noticed that this was happening, and invited his followers to start using the hashtag in their own tweets and thus barge their way into the conversation. Cue loads of unfunny people lining up to take potshots at the bewildered terrorists.

(NSFW)

These “ideas” for improving al Qaeda’s online image ranged from the simply crude:

 

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