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‘There Are More Than Two Genders,’ Tortured Employee Forced To Say In Darkened Room At Google Headquarters

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—In a darkened room labeled “101” deep within Google’s Mountain View headquarters, an outed conservative employee was forced to say there are more than two genders after a long period of torture.

The man was tortured for hours, arguing the objective reality of two genders, being told he was “mentally deranged” and suffering from “a defective worldview” before finally giving in.

“Do you remember writing in an email that there are only two genders?” he was asked while strapped to a table. “What if Google says there are three?”

“How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? Two genders are two genders!” the man cried through tears as his torturer, a Google project lead, held up a picture of a man and a woman, according to surveillance footage.

“Sometimes. Sometimes there are two. Sometimes there are three. Sometimes there are any number of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane,” the project lead replied coldly before administering another round of electric shocks into the man’s brains. Read the rest of this entry »

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BREAKING: New York Times Confesses to Causing Starvation in North Korea


Introducing: The Woody Allen Center for Sexual Health & Rehabilitation

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Introducing: The Roman Polanski Center

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[VIDEO] How to Safely Watch The Eclipse or CNN 


Yes, Millions Were Tortured and Murdered Under Socialism: But Sexually Liberated Dead Women Enjoyed It More

Yes, there was mass genocide behind the Iron Curtain. But doesn’t that mean they didn’t enjoy sexual liberation!

Source: NYTimes.com


BREAKING: Fidel Castro Health Update


French Magazine Charlie Hebdo Recovers Its Mojo With Controversial Theresa May Cover 

What is it with headless humor these days?

The June 7 issue of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo arrives on the heels of the Manchester and London Bridge terrorist attacks. Indeed, the bubble remark–‘Too much is too much’–comes from remarks made by U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May in the wake of the latter June 3 incidents.

The cover is tasteless. English-language media reaction is just starting to trickle in, but stay car-tooned. There will be lots of it. The cover line, translated, reads as ‘Multiculturalism is the British Way.’

From a U.S. perspective, it’s impossible not to think of the wrath that descended upon comedian Kathy Griffin last week … (read more)

Source: Adweek


[VIDEO] House of Clintons 


[VIDEO] A Brief History of Politicians Body-Slamming Journalists: From Gianforte to John Adams

In the twilight hours of a special election to replace Montana’s lone congressman, Republican hopeful Greg Gianforte reportedly “body slammed” and punched a Guardian reporter after the journalist tried to ferret out an answer about GOP health care plans. In this video Reason TV imagines a world in which other, high profile politicians give into violent impulses when confronted by the press.

Polls opened in Montana less than twenty-four hours after Gianforte’s confrontation with Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs, and his subsequent assault charge. In the event that Mr. Gianforte is elected to Congress there is a reasonable chance he will interact with more journalists in the future, and possibly even have to formulate responses to Republican legislation at some point.


[VIDEO] Remy: The Venezuela Diet! 


[VIDEO] Exclusive Footage of James Comey Waving Goodbye


‘Bury The Truth With Us’: Honest Advertising from the New York Times

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Millennial Diagnosed With Tragic Inability To Even

BOTHELL, WA—According to reports, local 22-year-old Chloe Kowalski’s world was torn apart Friday morning, as the millennial barista was diagnosed with a rare disease that prevents her from having the ability to even. “I just—I can’t even,” Kowalski reportedly sobbed on her boyfriend’s shoulder after the appointment with her regular doctor, which she had scheduled […]

Source: The Babylon Bee


‘MOTHER’: Albert Brooks Sequel, Coming This Spring

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Bewitched, Bothered & Beleaguered: Bill O’Reilly Signs with AMC to Play Zombie in Upcoming Episode of ‘The Walking Dead’

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BREAKING: A Message from Harry Reid

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[VIDEO] Remy: April Fools!

Remy explores some of the great April Fools’ Day gags in United States history.

Written and Performed by Remy. Camera by Meredith Bragg. Edited by Austin Bragg. Music tracks and mastering by Ben Karlstrom.

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LYRICS:
Give me liberty or give me death!
Let us fight for independence up until our final breath!
The one regret that we should all have in our minds
We only have one life to give up for the future of mankind!

April Fools! A jestful jab!
How about we give ourselves free health care
and stick our grandkids with the tab?
I’m talking penis pills for you and you and you!
April Fools! April Fools! April Fools!

Four score and seven years has been the span
Fair weather brought a crowd I see
you all must be Penguins fans
Thousands sacrificed their lives upon this turf
To ensure that a free nation shall not perish from the earth!

April Fools! A playful plea!
They died so we could monitor your browser history
and use your phone to watch you number two
Must we give thought to the price paid by these tools?! (No!)
April Fools! April Fools! April Fools!

Ask not about yourself
Ask what you can do for your country
leave selfishness on the shelf
May the communists abroad hear this reprise
We shall pay any cost to ensure that liberty survives!

April Fools! Just cheeky chants!
There’s a missile crisis! Yes and it is happening in your pants
So take these free pills, we’ll send China IOUs
April Fools! April Fools! April Fools! Read the rest of this entry »


[VIDEO] Schumer Proposes a Deal on Gorsuch Nomination, GOP Responds


CNN Highlights Presidential Stairphobia

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[VIDEO] WOKE: The Energy Drink for Empathy!

 


[VIDEO] Remy: Fake News 


BREAKING: Former Attorney General Eric Holder Recommends Obama Administration Playbook to New AG Jeff Sessions

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[VIDEO] Best Political Speech by an Entertainment Celebrity: Who Will Win? 

Forget the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and the Emmys: the stars are all out for the Hollywood Awards. But who will take home the prize for Best Political Speech by an Entertainment Celebrity?

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Written and produced by Austin Bragg. Performed by Andrew Heaton and Austin Bragg

 

 


Can You Still Be Sexy After 50?

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Frustrated Russian Officials Struggling To Get Any Policies Through Dysfunctional Trump Administration 

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MOSCOW—Lamenting that internal disorganization was making it extremely difficult to get anything done, Russian officials voiced their frustration Thursday about continuing struggles to get policies through the dysfunctional Trump administration. “You’d think that after being in the White House for a month, they’d have at least some rudimentary process for rolling out our new proposals, but it’s just been a mess so far,” said Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu, adding that the recent dismissal of Michael Flynn as national security advisor was “just the tip of the iceberg” in a chaotic White House where internal conflicts and numerous leaks made it hard for the Russians to implement any workable ideas at all. Read the rest of this entry »


[VIDEO] ‘The Greg Gutfeld Show’ Introduces a New ‘Sponsor’: Victima

The Greg Gutfeld Show‘ introduces a new ‘sponsor

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Source: The Greg Gutfeld Show  [WATCH the video here]


[BOOKS] On Howard Stern, Actress Lena Dunham Credits President Trump for Her Weight Loss Success, Debuts New Diet Book

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Rachel DeSantis reports: Most people turn to diets and exercise to lose extra pounds, but Girls star Lena Dunham is sharing a new weight-loss trick you may not want to try at home.

“Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food.”

— Actress and diet book author Lena Dunham

Dunham stopped by Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show Monday morning and revealed that she has none other than Donald Trump to thank for her slim figure.

“Everyone’s been asking like, ‘What have you been doing?’ And I’m like, ‘Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight.’”

“Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food,” she told Stern after he complimented her look. “Everyone’s been asking like, ‘What have you been doing?’ And I’m like, ‘Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight.’”

The actress, who was on hand to promote the upcoming sixth and final season of Girls, has not been shy about her dislike for the President, and apparently, the feeling is mutual. Read the rest of this entry »


FIDEL CASTRO HEALTH UPDATE

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Moral Relativist Slams Murder As ‘Highly Undesirable’

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KANSAS CITY, MO—Self-described agnostic and moral relativist Carl Horton has issued a scathing critique of the concept of murder, claiming the practice is “highly undesirable” and “not what I’d choose for myself,” sources confirmed Monday. The elaborate argument, published on Horton’s blog, argues that the very idea of murder “makes me feel bad” and that [] Read the rest of this entry »


Steve Bannon Slurps Still-Twitching Tail Into Mouth Before Giving Opinion On Syria

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Source


Karl Rove Strikes Back, Defends Reputation as Democrat’s Favorite Super-Scary Hate Object

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Source: POLITICO


BREAKING: President Trump Issues 3rd in a Series of Executive Headline Corrections

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[VIDEO] Trump’s Protest Based Stimulus Plan 

The Trump administration is working hard to make America great again, by bringing jobs and opportunity back to our shores. Written and Produced by Austin Bragg.

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Powerful: Protester Writes ‘Tolerance’ On Face Of Man He Just Beat Unconscious

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BERKELEY, CA—A protest at UC Berkeley turned violent Wednesday night into Thursday morning as hundreds of rioters set fires, assaulted people, damaged vehicles, and smashed storefronts. But in the midst of all the chaos: an inspirational moment. After beating a man unconscious for disagreeing with him, a masked protester pulled out a black marker and […] Read the rest of this entry »


[MEDIA] TIME Magazine Surrenders

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[VIDEO] Captain Kirk Meets Ashley Judd 

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[VIDEO] Celebrities Speak Out Against Donald Trump

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THE PEN: Trump Administration Issues 3rd in Series of Executive Headline Corrections

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President Trump: ‘I’m Proud to Have the Bust of Winston Groovy Back in the Oval Office’

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