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BREAKING: In Wake of Scandal, Fraternity Members To Undergo Racial Sensitivity Hazing

hazing

EVANSTON, IL—In the wake of a controversial video depicting two individuals in the fraternity’s University of Oklahoma chapter leading a racist chant, Sigma Alpha Epsilon officials instituted a new national policy Wednesday requiring all members to undergo mandatory racial sensitivity hazing.

“Effective immediately, pledges nationwide will engage in a hazing program designed to combat racially insensitive behavior by requiring them to pound a shot of pure grain alcohol for every one of their personal prejudices until they puke.”

Effective immediately, pledges nationwide will engage in a hazing program designed to combat racially insensitive behavior by requiring them to pound a shot of pure grain alcohol for every one of their personal prejudices until they puke, read a statement released by the organization, which also reveals that the undergraduates must participate in a frank group discussion regarding the hurtful effects of discrimination after being blindfolded, stripped naked, and forced to stand in the campus quad for an entire night.

“We take these infractions extremely seriously, and if our members fail to properly memorize and recite the major provisions of the Civil Rights Act while tied together in a dark closet, they will be urinated on by every senior fraternity member present.”

Make no mistake: We take these infractions extremely seriously, and if our members fail to properly memorize and recite the major provisions of the Civil Rights Act…(read more)

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